My apologies. It's been awhile since my last post. It was finals week. And as I have always said: Academics first, blog second. (Manager third)
When I became a manager, so did two of my friends (Shout out to LK and Scwhartzy... Misery (and miserable jobs) loves company.) And like any good group of college freshmen, we always traveled in packs. We developed a sort of buddy system so that we never worked alone and that made practices much easier to get through. We would sit behind the clock and chat about normal manager things. We would come up with elaborate plans for how we were going to make the basketball players our friends, even the intimidating ones. We would talk about what we wanted to be when we grow up. We would play lots of games. Like "Who Can Fold 50 Camp Brochures Faster?" One of my favorites was The "Question" Game. For hours, we would go back-and-forth with questions like these:
- "Which coach would you want to be your mom?" (Obviously not the crazy one)
- "If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one of the players, which one would it be?" (One that doesn't snore)
- "Which player would be the best older sister?" (Doesn't matter, Mom & Dad would love them more because they're talented)
- "How many shots do you think they have taken in their lifetime?" (We figure about 500,000)
- "Factoring in clothes, food, free trips, how much do you suppose we make per hour?" (... Then we realized we would make more in a Chinese sweat shop)
Keep in mind, it’s not that I have a lot of free time. It’s that my job requires me to sit there and do nothing but wait to be needed. I never thought being a basketball manager would require so much time and so little work... And now that my manager-friends have moved on to bigger and better things, I have to take on the task of entertaining myself during those long practices. So with one hand on the shot clock and a blank stare on my face, I delve into a dream world where anything is possible...
1. In dream world, being a basketball manager means getting a badge, a pager, and a moped.
2. In dream world, female basketball players can dunk.
3. In dream world, the other manager doesn't fall off his chair and isn't a total spaz.
4. In dream world, all the players make all their shots. I never get hit in the face with an airball and I never have to chase a long rebound into the stands.
5. In dream world, I can pull pranks without getting in trouble... I would glue all the marker caps to the markers and then watch the coaches struggle to pull them off. I would put on coach's jacket after he throws it to the ground and continue to distribute water and towels in it (see below: Throwing Things). I would write "That Wasn't Water..." on the inside of all the water cups (I'm definitely going to do this one. Dream world or not. I'm just waiting for a non-toxic, waterproof marker). And I would address all players as "Miss (insert state name here) Basketball" and bow graciously for an entire day.
No comments:
Post a Comment