At what age is it appropriate to throw things?
According to a recent poll (of my friends), the most common answer to this question is : "when you're a toddler." Of course kids throw things at their siblings, their parents, their friends to get attention. (I distinctly remember my brother throwing his hockey gear onto the roof of our garage because he didn't want to go to practice.) But then, somewhere along the line of 'growing up,' it was decided that throwing things is no longer cute or civil and doing so should result in punishment. For example, I once had a 2nd grade teacher teacher who threw a chalkboard eraser at a student. She got fired. Then there was the Iraqi reporter who threw his shoes at George Bush (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM3Z_Kskl_U). Also considered extremely inappropriate (and yet, still somewhat appropriate)...
The world of college basketball is completely different from this. In this world, coaches are allowed to (even encouraged to) throw tantrums. Someone out there decided that the best way to motivate players to play better was to yell and scream like a five year old; and quite frankly, I don't have a problem with that. Easily the most amusing part of my job is watching what many in the real world would consider a mental breakdown. However, just like with a toddler, someone has to clean up the mess after each tantrum...
Enter me. I've climbed rows of seats to find basketballs that had been punted into the arena during practice. (Recently one of those basketballs was inadvertently kicked directly at my face, but that deserves its own post sometime down the road) I've become somewhat of an expert at guessing exactly what row that dry erase marker landed in when coach flings it into the stands. Picking up and unfolding smashed up papers also occurs on a weekly basis. My favorite though is when coach rips off his sport coat and throws it to the ground during almost every game. (This is usually accompanied by screaming "WHAT THE F&#* ARE THEY DOING?!" at the bench and "WHO SHOWED THEM THAT?!" at the assistant coaches) Without flinching, I quickly pick the jacket up and put it on the back of his chair. But on the inside, I am grinning ear to ear. It's these hilarious and simultaneously humbling experiences that I will remember when I am in the real world. There is nothing more amusing a fully grown adult acting like a child, and there is nothing more belittling than picking up after him.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
The Golden Rule
Every manager knows it's best to be invisible.
A good manager is one that goes unnoticed. And while this has never really been my style, I'd say I managed (pun intended, and one of many to come) to avoid garnering too much attention when I first started. This was fine and dandy of course, but I have to admit: the job was plain old boring. There's only so many times you can hold a door open and say "you're welcome" to everyone who passes through it before you go crazy. But over the years (two, to be exact) that I have worked for the _________ University Women's Basketball Team, I've quickly discovered the best ways to get noticed:
A great way to get yourself noticed as a manager is to let the buzzer go off during practice. This can happen accidentally ... Perhaps you were busy rebounding. Or running to the office to grab a coach's practice schedule. Or maybe you were just daydreaming about what it would be like to have a pillow fight in this huge gym and you forgot to check the clock. Either way. That loud, obnoxious buzzer is a fantastic way to say "Hey. I'm here. And I actually do stuff sometimes." So every once in awhile, I just let it go off on purpose. "Oops. Sorry Coach. Did I interrupt your 10 minute long tirade about rebounding?"
Another good way to get yourself noticed is to befriend the players. Of course, the easiest way to go about this is through their stomachs. When players aren't focusing on their game, they are focusing on their food. If there is one thing I have learned from this job, it's that basketball players are always hungry. And usually it's for things that they aren't allowed to have. So whether you have to secretly get the soft-serve machine up and running before team meals or smuggle forbidden french fries to the back of the bus, the risk (getting caught by the coaches) is definitely worth the reward of having a few players know your name.
And if all else fails, find a Nordstrom's outlet and pick yourself up a pair of snazzy shoes. Those always seem to be great conversation starters.
That's really all I am trying to do here. Be immortalized. And what better way than a tell-all blog that will make my job seem way more exciting than it actually is. Stay tuned. Because one day my (self-assigned) number of 00 will one day hang from the rafters of ______ arena, and you'll wish you had read my blog.
- Manager of the Year
A good manager is one that goes unnoticed. And while this has never really been my style, I'd say I managed (pun intended, and one of many to come) to avoid garnering too much attention when I first started. This was fine and dandy of course, but I have to admit: the job was plain old boring. There's only so many times you can hold a door open and say "you're welcome" to everyone who passes through it before you go crazy. But over the years (two, to be exact) that I have worked for the _________ University Women's Basketball Team, I've quickly discovered the best ways to get noticed:
A great way to get yourself noticed as a manager is to let the buzzer go off during practice. This can happen accidentally ... Perhaps you were busy rebounding. Or running to the office to grab a coach's practice schedule. Or maybe you were just daydreaming about what it would be like to have a pillow fight in this huge gym and you forgot to check the clock. Either way. That loud, obnoxious buzzer is a fantastic way to say "Hey. I'm here. And I actually do stuff sometimes." So every once in awhile, I just let it go off on purpose. "Oops. Sorry Coach. Did I interrupt your 10 minute long tirade about rebounding?"
Another good way to get yourself noticed is to befriend the players. Of course, the easiest way to go about this is through their stomachs. When players aren't focusing on their game, they are focusing on their food. If there is one thing I have learned from this job, it's that basketball players are always hungry. And usually it's for things that they aren't allowed to have. So whether you have to secretly get the soft-serve machine up and running before team meals or smuggle forbidden french fries to the back of the bus, the risk (getting caught by the coaches) is definitely worth the reward of having a few players know your name.
And if all else fails, find a Nordstrom's outlet and pick yourself up a pair of snazzy shoes. Those always seem to be great conversation starters.
That's really all I am trying to do here. Be immortalized. And what better way than a tell-all blog that will make my job seem way more exciting than it actually is. Stay tuned. Because one day my (self-assigned) number of 00 will one day hang from the rafters of ______ arena, and you'll wish you had read my blog.
- Manager of the Year
Friday, February 25, 2011
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